It's Not Easy Being....Elvish?

So. We're back to the original campaign.

Against my better judgment - better than the rest of the party I mean, as everyone knows that elves have far superior intellects than mere humans - the party (and by 'party' I mean 'everybody except me') decided that it was indeed a good idea to storm the Yuan-ti stronghold. We didn't so much storm the stronghold as we snuck in, seeing as how 'storming' is usually done by rather large armies with signs saying 'ARMY' scattered about its forces just in case the enemy forces are a bit dim (alternatively, if you object to signs, I'm told that bullseyes are more aesthetically pleasing).

To give credit where credit is due, the party did spend a few minutes discussing our means of entry before rushing in, swords drawn. We debated the merits of knocking on the door disguised as pizza-deliverymen, but unfortunately, we ran into a few obstacles.

1) Pizza delivery does not usually require seven people.
2) We don't have the proper pizza-delivery apparel, this consisting of unfortunately colored polo shirts and a pizza-shaped hat.
3) Pizza hasn't been invented yet.

Given this, we came to the sad conclusion that there was a good chance the Yuan-ti would see through our disguise. Literally, as polo shirts don't hide chainmail very well. Several other ideas for entering through the front door were soon suggested, and even sooner dismissed, including Avon, door-to-door scale cleanser salesmen, a singing telegram acapella group, and a large wooden badger.

We soon came to the conclusion that we would have to sneak in from the back. Or rather, from the top, since the fortress has no back door as it is dug out of solid rock. Beloved Assim volunteers to levitate himself to the second story balcony with a rope so the rest of us can climb up. When we reach the balcony, everyone begins to prepare for battle. Mostly, that means waving their pointy metal sticks about and forcing me to heal them when they poke somebody’s eye out with a badly rolled swing.

Strangely enough, we encounter nobody as we explore this level of the fortress. We do however see a sign labeled “Danger - Snakes” pointing down a staircase. Despite my protests that we’re trying to survive this adventure, the rest of the party rushes down the stairs. Where we see…

…absolutely nothing.

Mostly because it’s dark. Clearly, someone forgot to tell the Yuan-ti that they shouldn’t stop paying the power bill until after they take over the world.

One would think that any disadvantage to the Yuan-ti is an advantage to us. However, humans cannot see in the dark. Elves can, but trying to warn the party of any danger I saw would likely bring said danger upon us anyway. Assuming that the danger can’t see in the dark in the first place. And given that the entire room is shrouded in darkness, I think it’s quite reasonable to assume that whoever lives there can, in fact, see quite well in the dark.Of course, that’s also assuming he didn’t hear us first, as polo shirts hide the sound of chain mail about as well as they do the sight.

Per the standard procedure, the Yuan-ti rush straight for Assim. Per his standard procedure, he casts Grease, which doesn’t seem to do much good, as snakes and other snake-like creatures slither anyway. You’d think snakes would get a bonus to the save against Grease since it’s practically their natural habitat.

Also per the usual procedure, Ysandre and our Valiant Paladin step in to save the day, using skills known only as the Slice n Dice, taught by expertly trained Japanese TV chefs.

After this short fight we rest, once again, because I’m out of spells. As usual.

Stay tuned for the next episode, in which we actually talk to someone before attempting to kill them.